Mothership Confessional

My Ava girl isn't a baby anymore. But I know I will still call her my baby! It's hard for me to believe that she is two ! I still feel like it was just yesterday that she was swaddled in my arms, looking up at me with her big brown eyes. I feel incredibly lucky  to have my goofy, passionate, emotional toddler. We struggled with years of infertility before I got the positive pregnancy test with her. My unique, heart-shaped uterus grew her. During labor, her heart rate kept plummeting, so they broke my water to speed up delivery. There was meconium in the waters and her cord prolapsed, sending us immediately to the OR for an emergency c-section. My epidural broke so I was not able to have a spinal and was put under general anesthetic for her delivery. I didn't get to hear her first cries. I didn't get to hold her or nurse her until she was 2 hours old because I was waking up in recovery. Despite all the odds,...

I feel like someone has turned a page into a new chapter in my book of being a mother. Chris and I were talking after we got home from our Kansas trip and we both agree that Ava seems to know that she is a 1 year-old. She just acts bigger!  She learned how to say "cracker". It just sounds like "kkkkkkkkkkkk" at the back of her throat! She's pretty impressed with herself when she says it! She walks everywhere! She has really become a walking expert and doesn't even crawl at all anymore. She also doesn't want anyone to hold her hand while she walks. She's very into the "me do it" phase with walking! She just acts like a such a big girl! It's almost as if the universe knew she turned one and now all these changes are happening. It makes me so happy to see her loving life and learning new things each day. I love all the communicating she can do - she finally signed "more" a few weeks ago and I love when she does i...

Our sweet Ava Mckenzie, our Ava baby, Ava Bava, Ava Mac & Cheese, my little froggy...turns  one year old today!!! And what a difference a month can make!! I feel like I've only recently become really good at making the most of each day, specifically, her nap times. Did it really take me 10 months to get to the point where I was  eager  to get things done while she was sleeping?!  Yes, it did!!! Know why? Because that's how long it took for her to start sleeping through the night, and therefore, I no longer felt like a  complete   zombie.  She's an early riser so some days I definitely still want to nap, but I'm finally feeling more productive and in control of my days, and I feel like tackling small projects again. Yay me!! During one nap time, I can now: *Sit and do nothing for a little bit *pick up the downstairs *do a little workout (emphasis on little!) *clean a toilet or two *shower and/or get dressed *work on a ...