Mothership Confessional

Well, he went and did it - little Liam, little 8 pound, 5 ounce Liam , turned one year old!! We had a little party for him this weekend to celebrate. And I made one of those chalkboard posters for him, and it really made me stop and think about these last 365+ days with him. Liam was born 5 days early. My due date was February 27. He could have been a leap year baby!! How crazy would that have been?! He was heavy and I carried him low. I had lots  of pelvic pain with him. I remember during the last few weeks that I disliked squatting to get things out of the bottom of the fridge because it felt like he was going to fall out!! My sweet little boy entered this world via c-section, and it was pretty amazing. I was unconscious for Ava's delivery, so this was my second child, but really the first birth I actually got to experience. And it was love at first sight, for sure! My sweet little surprise. Liam is quite the little man! I can't get over just how m...

The learning curve to becoming a new parent is steep. It was like a shock to my system, if I had to describe it concisely! My first baby is now almost 2 years old, and our newest little bundle just turned 3 months. Yep...I have 2 kids under the age of 2. Fun stuff!! So if you're reading this for some advice, you've come to the right place! 1. Your Parenting "Standards" Will Lower Take the current bar of expectations and standards in your world of parenting with one child and drop it down.  Now drop it down much lower than what you just did in your mind.  There. Just right!! I quickly learned that survival mode  goes on a whole lot longer than just that initial 6 week recovery period after your second baby is born! My parenting style is full of structure and routine. But once you have 2 tiny humans who need you nearly constantly, something's gotta give!  Ava gets oh-so-much screen time, both the iPad and the tv. I've struggled with thi...

My first postpartum experience was awful . But I didn't know it at the time. I couldn't see how extremely difficult things were in the midst of it all, but looking back after a second postpartum experience, I really wish I would have reached out for help. I had: -lots of pain, took Percocet for a week+ and then Ibuprofen for almost a month -nightly periods of sadness, like clockwork from 7-9 pm, every night  for about 2 weeks -lots of blood clots, one HUGE one that scared the crap out of me (I literally thought, this is it, I can't have children anymore; we went to the ER, I was fine) -breastfeeding pains, and a cracked nipple that made me dread  every single feeding for about 4 weeks (its seriously no fun to dread feedings, you're supposed to enjoy those!) -sadness and anxiety (I assumed this was how it was to be a first-time mom. Everytime she cried I immediately got anxious and nervous, even if her crying was easily and predictably fixed by a feeding...

I am so excited to be doing monthly baby updates again!!! And I can't believe it's already been a whole month with our Liam! Apparently Liam had big goals for his first few weeks of life. He outgrew size newborn diapers at one week old...because he kept peeing out of them! He loves to be held on our chests and is pretty good at holding his head up already! He loves to look around! At 2 weeks, 6 days old, Liam rolled from tummy to back multiple times! He's an overachiever! We had his 2-week appointment when he was 3 weeks old. He weighed in at 9 pounds, 10 ounces, meaning that he gained almost 2 pounds in 2 weeks !!! The doctor was pretty impressed! Just last night he found his thumb to suck and he's trying to socially smile! I'm already packing up newborn clothes! It's happening too fast! On one hand, I don't want him to change so quickly. Butttt, even though I'm not as hormonal this time and I feel like I can relax and...

I am surviving the first few days at home by myself with my babies! A part of me was apprehensive about this new change, but I think that's because I was imagining the worst: both kids crying at the same time and me running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. But it's not been that way at all! The first day I was a bit overwhelmed and so  happy when Chris came home. I think all the activity just plain wore me out! I use a step stool to help Ava get in and out of her crib. I change her and dress her on the floor and I just suck it up and lift her into her chair at our bar-height table. Probably the most frustrating part is when Ava wants to run away from me and I have to chase her down - she is definitely faster than me right now! I am healing so well; I stopped taking all pain pills by about 1 week after surgery. Pretty impressive! It feels so good to be able to sleep on my side...although full breasts kind of get in the way, haha! About 35 pounds have just fall...

I find myself in shock  at how different this postpartum experience has been so far compared to last time. This time around, I have been  happy  and felt immediate love for my newborn and extreme contentedness  with our new family of four. It made me reflect on life after Ava's birth, and I now feel a little bad for myself that I thought that experience was normal  typical. Looking back, I think I may have had the baby blues because I definitely did not feel as happy as I thought I would be! I was a first-time parent. My baby was delivered via emergency c-section, so physically and emotionally I had been through a lot. Everything was new, and everything was scary. We were learning to parent one hour at a time. 7 days after surgery, I just can't believe how good I feel! I mean, of course I don't really feel good , but I'm getting around really well and a time or two I have not kept up with my pain meds and I hardly noticed. I might consider reducing my dose o...

I'm writing this up from the hospital on day 2 of recovery...can you believe it?! Things are totally different this time! We checked into the hospital at 9 am on Monday morning. Not going to lie...I was fighting the tears saying goodbye to Ava - it was crashing down on me that life was about to change and that things would never be the same. I was so nervous and excited and my heart was pounding as we walked in! I hardly slept the night before. I spent about an hour and a half in the recovery area hooked up to an IV for fluids and then they monitored Liam for about another half hour. It was kind of a long, boring 2 hours - it was hard to keep my mind occupied! Then they came back and told us it was time to go! We walked back to the OR and I got my spinal while Chris got dressed up. It's crazy how fast the spinal works - I felt the warmth race down my leg, into my buttocks, and then the other leg. It happened so fast I was pretty numb before I could even lay down on th...

I can't believe we are counting down the final days before Liam is here! My back and pelvis are going to be so happy!! But I am still feeling apprehensive! Nobody wants  to have surgery. I'm nervous to be awake for it this time! It was pretty sucky that I had to be put to sleep to deliver Ava . I woke up back in my room and they brought Ava to me and said, "This is your baby!". Chris wasn't a part of her birth, either, since everything was so rushed and I was put under. He says they asked him if Ava was his baby, and he said "I guess!". We are both looking forward to witnessing the birth of our child this time around! It's going to be so emotional!! I still remember walking from the car to the house when we brought Ava home. My belly jiggled like Jell-o with the absence of the baby I carried for 9 months! I felt so unbalanced. It was almost an out-of-body experience! It's bizarre to go into a delivery this time knowing what to expect! I r...

This has been a fast week! It helps that I was out of the house for 3 mornings...even though it exhausts me! We always go to the commissary on Tuesday mornings - we would do Mondays but they are closed - because we like to start the week out with a full fridge and the weekends are too crowded/shelves are picked over. So because I'm so very pregnant now, with a toddler in tow, commissary runs now take up practically the whole morning! It wasn't until after Ava was well into eating table food that we got into the swing of meal planning. It has really made things sooo much easier! I plan about 3/4 meals for 7 days and that gets us through the week. There's always leftovers and sometimes we will eat out for a meal on the weekends. It makes budgeting super easy too, because we know about how much groceries will cost us per week. I highly recommend meal planning - I usually go to my Pinterest boards for new ideas if I'm tired of our old favorites! Wednesday is library sto...

Week 31 This weather is crazy!! We had to go buy shorts for Ava and I had to dig out my maternity shorts again! I caved and turned the AC on for about an hour the other afternoon. The house hit 74 degrees and I was melting ! The humidity is super high, too. It's been odd to have temps hit 80 in December! I feel like I am in some sort of strange land full of heat and lizards and sand and pine needles and fire ants and the occasional palm tree! I feel like Liam is SO BIG! According to my app he is almost full length already; he will spend his remaining weeks filling out! He's already over 3 pounds, too! My belly is stretching. I've really been feeling it. It feels like a side cramp from running, but across my belly! My back hurts. I get Braxton Hicks contractions a lot. I feel pretty good in the first half of the day, but the afternoon and evening I get "needy", haha! It's almost like Ava knows  and wants me more  because of it. A few days ago she insist...

Week 29 So we are still settling in. We've been here long enough now that it's time to dust and vacuum already, but we still have so much stuff  lying around that we have to make a conscious effort to keep working on finding a home for every little thing. I think I can finally say... there are no more boxes in the house!!  I have unpacked the last of it! The decor might not all be up on the walls yet, but the house is definitely feeling more like a home! The crazy part is, is that we do this ALL OVER AGAIN in about 6-7 months. yayyyyyyyyyyyyy (that is a sarcastic "yay", by the way) I've enjoyed this week of finally getting to get in the Christmas spirit and put up the Christmas tree! And a few decorations...but we aren't doing a whole lot this year because honestly it's just more work to put things up...and then to have to take them down in a few weeks! Plus I don't have a whole lot of places for decorations where Ava cannot reach. However,...