Mothership Confessional

I heard this song on the radio for the first time several months ago. I was immediately drawn to it, but I hadn't really taken the time to listen to all of the lyrics. But when I finally did...I was blown away, and now I love it even more. It's my new obsession!  The more I listen to it, the deeper meaning it has for me. My husband and I met in the summer of 2005. It was a very transitional time for both of us, and this song basically summarizes that summer for us. We met. We took a chance on each other. We took some risks. It felt a little crazy, a little whirlwind-esque, a little wild. At times I thought, what are we doing?! Is this worth it all? Is this going to last? And you can imagine how those feelings multiplied when he told me shortly after we were together that he wanted to join the Army. What would that mean for us while he was away at Basic Training and AIT? And so soon after we met...the questions were flying. But we knew. We knew we were each others' f...

I've been thinking of this particular post for many months now - dreaming of it, actually - but now that I'm here, I'm not really sure I can articulate my feelings concisely. It's been a YEAR, y'all!!! 362 days to be exact - three hundred and sixty two days that I have spent without my husband home (by the time he gets home). Ok so there were 3 weeks there in the middle when he came home for my grandmother's funeral - but I can assure you, those 3 weeks had their own struggles! How can I describe what these 362 days have been like?! I'm not sure if I can! But I'm going to try. I ran track for 6 years. I considered doing it in college as well, but decided I couldn't commit to being an athlete and a student. Plus I wasn't *quite* good enough to run at KU, which is where I really wanted to go (although I did make it to the 6A State track meet!). My events were the open 100, 200, and 400, as well as the 4x1, 4x2, and the 4x4. My favorite eve...

Every mom experiences motherhood differently. We all have our own traits where we excel, and also things we can improve upon. No mother is perfect! And while we spend our days eyeballs deep in child-rearing (and for a lot of us, career-building too), it certainly is nice to have time away from our kids to do some self-reflection and rediscovering ourselves. I prayed so hard for my precious babies, and it took years for us to be blessed with them. They are both miracles we started to feel we would never get. Ava nearly died in childbirth. I heard her heart rate fading on the monitor as the umbilical cord had prolapsed. My husband helped push me into the operating room until everyone else ran in for my emergency c-section. When I awoke, my sweet little Ava was placed in my arms, completely unharmed. The doctor was even shocked that there were zero complications. I feel so incredibly grateful to have both of my babies here today. But, there are days where I think back to the time b...

I spent several hours DEALING WITH MY KIDS' TOYS the other day. I like to rotate their toys, but I haven't done it in several months, and it was way overdue! I'm going to tell you WHAT toy rotation is, HOW to do it, and WHY you should do it! Kids have a lot of toys, and it seems like they never seem to play with all of them and there's never enough space to organize them! With toy rotation, you put at least half  of the toys away, and rotate them out every so often. This controls the mess (to a degree), creates new interest in old or forgotten toys (maybe because all the toys can actually be seen ), and makes for a happier, cleaner home! A lot of my personal struggle with toy rotation is simply the logistics  of it. You'll need to have space to store toys where the kids cannot access them. This could be a closet, basement, a room away from the usual play area(s), or even a locked cabinet. Storage space is something a lot of us struggle with, I think! And oft...

Well, he went and did it - little Liam, little 8 pound, 5 ounce Liam , turned one year old!! We had a little party for him this weekend to celebrate. And I made one of those chalkboard posters for him, and it really made me stop and think about these last 365+ days with him. Liam was born 5 days early. My due date was February 27. He could have been a leap year baby!! How crazy would that have been?! He was heavy and I carried him low. I had lots  of pelvic pain with him. I remember during the last few weeks that I disliked squatting to get things out of the bottom of the fridge because it felt like he was going to fall out!! My sweet little boy entered this world via c-section, and it was pretty amazing. I was unconscious for Ava's delivery, so this was my second child, but really the first birth I actually got to experience. And it was love at first sight, for sure! My sweet little surprise. Liam is quite the little man! I can't get over just how m...

I feel like I blinked and Liam aged another month! 11 months!!  Oh my gosh...he's nearly a year old!! I knew these months would go by so quickly! It seems like once 6 months hit, babies just start gaining more and more independence - they learn to sit, self-feed, scoot, crawl, entertain themselves, get into mischief... It all happens so fast. Too fast!!! I was just looking at my kids today - staring hard at them, actually - trying to captures these fleeting moments in my mind. It's like they are slipping through my fingers! I hear the words so many people tell me: "They won't stay little for long! It goes by so fast!" ...and I do  hear them, it's just...it's just so hard to not want the hard phases to end and to take for granted their sweet tiny bodies and cuddly, needy personalities. It's a double-edged sword - I'd love to have a little less demand from them, but then when I get some space, I realize they don't need me as much as the...

This post is a little late - but I'm actually a little impressed with myself that this is the ONLY late post in the last 10 months of his life! We started this last month on a rough patch. November was a month of sickness for all 3 of us. It was discovered that Liam had a double ear infection at his 9 month appointment, so he got antibiotics. That explains why he's been so  cranky! He finished out his meds but still wasn't acting like himself, and he was still pulling on his ear. He was a little feverish one morning, and then by the afternoon he was lethargic, and his temp had shot up - I'm not even joking here - to 105 degrees!!! I was in the middle of making dinner and I literally had to shut everything off and grab Ava from the table to take Liam to urgent care! I was kind of freaking out. It was dark outside and I couldn't see him in the car and I was terrified that he was going to have a febrile seizure and I wouldn't be able to see him! It took me 2 trie...